Major-General's Song by Gilbert And Sullivan

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I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've (1)______________________ vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England
And I (2)__________ the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I (3)____________________ equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
(Hmm, lot of news.... Got it!)
With (4)________ cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the (5)________ model of a modern Major-General
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I know our (6)____________ history
King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty (7)__________ for paradox
I quote in (8)________________ all the (9)____________ of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted
Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus
From The Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue
Of which I've (10)__________ the music's din afore
(Ooh, din afore, din afore... Got it!)
And whistle all the airs
From (11)________ infernal (12)________________ Pinafore
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Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you (13)__________ detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser (14)__________ from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And (15)________ I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know (16)________ of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
(Oh, that's a hard one, strategy... Got it!)
You'll say a better Major-General has (17)__________ sat a-gee
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been (18)______________ down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the (19)________ model of a (20)____________ Major-General
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(One more time?!)
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In fact
When I know what is (21)__________ by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When (22)________ affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm (23)________ wary at
And when I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I (24)________ learnt
What progress has been made in (25)____________ gunnery
When I know more of tactics (26)________ a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never (27)________ a horse!
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General!
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