Major-General's Song by Gilbert And Sullivan

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I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the (1)__________ of England
And I quote the fights historical
From (2)________________ to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm (3)________ well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, (4)________ the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
(Hmm, lot of news.... Got it!)
With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
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I'm very (5)________ at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the (6)________ (7)__________ of a modern Major-General
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I (8)________ our (9)____________ history
King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted
Raphaels from (10)____________ Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus
From The Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue
Of which I've heard the music's din afore
(Ooh, din afore, din afore... Got it!)
And (11)______________ all the airs
From that infernal nonsense Pinafore
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Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you (12)__________ detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very (13)__________ of a modern Major-General
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at (14)__________ a (15)____________ rifle from a javelin
When (16)________ affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been made in (17)____________ gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
(Oh, that's a hard one, strategy... Got it!)
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only (18)________ brought down
To the (19)__________________ of the century
But still, in (20)______________ vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a (21)____________ Major-General
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(One more time?!)
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And (22)__________________ I'm more wary at
And (23)________ I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of (24)______________ than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a (25)____________________ of (26)__________________ strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never rode a horse!
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the (27)________ model of a modern Major-General!
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