Major-General's Song by Gilbert And Sullivan

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I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've (1)______________________ vegetable, animal, and mineral
I (2)________ the kings of England
And I quote the fights historical
From (3)________________ to Waterloo, in (4)__________ categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About (5)________________ (6)______________ I'm teeming (7)________ a lot o' news
(Hmm, lot of news.... Got it!)
With many (8)________________ facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
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I'm very good at integral and (9)________________________ calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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I know our mythic history
King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a (10)____________ taste for paradox
I quote in (11)________________ all the (12)____________ of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can (13)________ undoubted
Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I (14)________ the croaking chorus
From The Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue
Of which I've heard the music's din afore
(Ooh, din afore, din afore... Got it!)
And whistle all the airs
From that infernal nonsense Pinafore
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Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you every (15)____________ of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely
What is (16)__________ by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been made in (17)____________ gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
(Oh, that's a hard one, strategy... Got it!)
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has (18)________ been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in (19)______________ vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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(One more time?!)
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such (20)______________ as sorties
And (21)__________________ I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know (22)________ of (23)______________ than a (24)____________ in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of (25)__________________ strategy
You'll say a (26)____________ Major-General has never rode a horse!
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For my (27)________________ knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General!
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