The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't (1)________ me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may (2)__________ most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We (3)__________ know how to (4)________ the hizzle
I don't even know what you (5)________ said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, staying up way (6)__________ dark
Then we had a couple shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me (7)__________ it to the moms
Cause the (8)____________ one is saggin'

I used to bling it up, I used to dress (9)________ shrewd
Now I accessorize with food that's already been chewed
And that's all right
I make this diaper bag look good
When I'm walking (10)______________ the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My PB&Js will set (11)________ (12)__________ on fire
I could (13)________ you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got them eyes in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using your full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all night till the break of dawn
Cooking them peas so I'll grow up strong
Got my second (14)________ belt if we crash head on
Dad dad, he's the man, (15)______________ real hard to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' those brows if we get (16)__________ hand

When it (17)________ to Candyland, I'm a stone cold player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an Algebra slayer
Wrestle carseats (18)________ (19)__________ without spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as snug as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not know this yet, but it doesn't (20)________ on trees
Now mama take it please, what, uh, (21)________ it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty training all my tots
Washin' all the (22)________ and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your friend jumped off a train you don't have to do the same"
Now get (23)________ toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' (24)______________ like a vil
If you need parental (25)__________ now you know
We are for real!
You don't think our rhyms are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us (26)__________ when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and never to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a sock in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never gets tired of playing "I spy"
The constant barage of kids asking "why"
And he always pretends he needs another tie

You know money doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't hurt you as much as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close that door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And (27)________ your aunt mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your (28)____________ off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and daddy own the house
Mom and daddy need to clean the house...

Keep your hands to yourself, boy
Don't make me (29)________ this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull (30)________ beat right over.

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