The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't make me (1)__________ to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may spend most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We still know how to rock the hizzle
I don't (2)________ know what you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, staying up way after dark
Then we had a couple shorties
And now we're (3)____________ flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me throw it to the moms
Cause the little one is saggin'

I (4)________ to (5)__________ it up, I used to (6)__________ (7)________ shrewd
Now I accessorize (8)________ (9)________ that's already been chewed
And that's all right
I make this diaper bag look good
When I'm walking through the (10)________ tryin' to wrangle my brood
My (11)__________ will set your world on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got (12)________ eyes in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using your (13)________ (14)________ so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all night till the break of dawn
Cooking them peas so I'll grow up strong
Got my second seat belt if we crash head on
Dad dad, he's the man, working real hard to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' those brows if we get outta hand

When it (15)________ to Candyland, I'm a stone cold player
Helping out (16)________ the homework, I'm an Algebra slayer
Wrestle carseats (17)________ (18)__________ (19)______________ spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as snug as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make (20)________ cheese
You may not know this yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama take it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty training all my tots
Washin' all the (21)________ and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your friend jumped off a train you don't have to do the same"
Now get your toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' coupons like a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't (22)__________ our (23)__________ are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us (24)__________ when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and never to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a sock in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never gets (25)__________ of (26)______________ "I spy"
The constant barage of kids asking "why"
And he always pretends he needs another tie

You know money doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't (27)________ you as much as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close that door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And (28)________ your aunt mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get (29)________ elbows off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and daddy own the house
Mom and daddy need to clean the house...

Keep your hands to yourself, boy
Don't make me stop this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this beat right over.

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