The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't make me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may (1)__________ most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We (2)__________ know how to rock the hizzle
I don't (3)________ know what you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, (4)________ on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, staying up way after dark
Then we had a couple shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me (5)__________ it to the moms
Cause the (6)____________ one is saggin'

I used to bling it up, I used to dress real shrewd
Now I accessorize with food that's already been chewed
And that's all right
I make this diaper bag look good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to (7)______________ my brood
My PB&Js (8)________ set your world on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got them (9)________ in the (10)________ of my head, I see all you do.
Using your full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all night till the (11)__________ of dawn
Cooking (12)________ peas so I'll grow up strong
Got my second seat belt if we crash head on
Dad dad, he's the man, (13)______________ real hard to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' those (14)__________ if we get outta hand

When it come to Candyland, I'm a (15)__________ cold player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an Algebra slayer
Wrestle carseats into place without spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as (16)________ as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not know this yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama (17)________ it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty training all my tots
Washin' all the pans and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to (18)________ brain
Like "if your friend jumped off a train you don't have to do the same"
Now get your toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' coupons like a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't think our rhyms are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and never to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a sock in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never (19)________ tired of (20)______________ "I spy"
The constant barage of (21)________ asking "why"
And he (22)____________ pretends he (23)__________ another tie

You know money doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't hurt you as much as it (24)__________ me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close that door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And kiss your (25)________ mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your elbows off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and daddy own the house
Mom and (26)__________ need to clean the house...

Keep (27)________ hands to yourself, boy
Don't make me stop this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this beat (28)__________ over.

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