The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't make me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the (1)____________ rap, y'all
We may spend most of our time chasing toddlers (2)________ but
We still know how to (3)________ the hizzle
I don't even know what you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, staying up way (4)__________ dark
Then we had a (5)____________ shorties
And now we're (6)____________ flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the (7)________ van
Or in our (8)____________ wagon
Let me throw it to the moms
Cause the little one is saggin'

I used to bling it up, I used to dress real shrewd
Now I accessorize with food that's already been chewed
And that's all right
I make this diaper bag look good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My PB&Js will set (9)________ world on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese (10)______________________ on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got them eyes in the (11)________ of my head, I see all you do.
Using your full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all night till the break of dawn
Cooking them peas so I'll grow up strong
Got my second seat (12)________ if we crash head on
Dad dad, he's the man, working real hard to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' those brows if we get outta hand

When it come to Candyland, I'm a (13)__________ cold player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an Algebra slayer
Wrestle carseats into (14)__________ without spillin' my mug
If I (15)________ you in at night, you'll be as snug as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to (16)________ that cheese
You may not know (17)________ yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama take it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty (18)________________ all my tots
Washin' all the (19)________ and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your (20)____________ jumped off a train you don't (21)________ to do the same"
Now get your toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' coupons (22)________ a vil
If you (23)________ parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't (24)__________ our rhyms are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and never to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a (25)________ in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never gets tired of playing "I spy"
The constant (26)____________ of kids asking "why"
And he (27)____________ pretends he needs another tie

You (28)________ money doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the (29)________ is free
This won't hurt you as much as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close that door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And kiss your aunt mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your (30)____________ off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and daddy own the house
Mom and daddy need to clean the house...

Keep your hands to yourself, boy
Don't make me stop this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this beat right over.

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