The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't make me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may spend most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We still know how to rock the hizzle
I don't even know what you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, (1)______________ up way after dark
Then we had a (2)____________ shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' (3)________ our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me throw it to the moms
Cause the (4)____________ one is saggin'

I (5)________ to bling it up, I used to (6)__________ real shrewd
Now I accessorize with food that's already been chewed
And that's all right
I make this diaper bag look good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My PB&Js will set your (7)__________ on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got them eyes in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using your (8)________ name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they (9)________ sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all night (10)________ the (11)__________ of dawn
Cooking them peas so I'll grow up strong
Got my second (12)________ belt if we crash head on
Dad dad, he's the man, working (13)________ hard to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' those brows if we get outta hand

When it (14)________ to Candyland, I'm a (15)__________ cold player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an (16)______________ slayer
Wrestle carseats into place without spillin' my mug
If I (17)________ you in at night, you'll be as (18)________ as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not know this yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama (19)________ it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty training all my tots
Washin' all the pans and pots
Tyin' (20)____________ shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your (21)____________ jumped off a (22)__________ you don't have to do the same"
Now get your toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' (23)______________ like a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't think our (24)__________ are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and never to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a sock in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never gets tired of playing "I spy"
The constant barage of kids asking "why"
And he (25)____________ (26)________________ he needs another tie

You know (27)__________ doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't hurt you as much as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close (28)________ door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And kiss your aunt mable
Close your mouth (29)________ you chew
Get your elbows off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and daddy own the house
Mom and daddy need to clean the house...

Keep your hands to yourself, boy
Don't make me stop this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this beat right over.

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