Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I (2)________ a (3)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (4)______________ for an (5)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy (6)____________ like electricity

At (7)________ in the mornin' I'm (8)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (9)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (10)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my (11)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (12)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (13)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (14)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (15)________ if he (16)________________ it
An Amish (17)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (18)__________ wear buttons, but I got a (19)________ hat
And my (20)____________ agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (21)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (22)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (23)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (24)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (25)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (26)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (27)__________ paradise
There's no cops or (28)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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