Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (2)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (3)________ me
You know I shun (4)__________ things (5)________ electricity

At (6)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (7)__________ in my hand and a (8)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (9)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our (10)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (11)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (12)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (13)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in (14)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (15)__________ punched a tourist (16)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (17)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (18)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an (19)__________ paradise
We're just (20)__________ and (21)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (22)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (23)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (24)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (25)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (26)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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