Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ (2)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an (3)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy (4)____________ like electricity

At (5)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (6)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (7)________ that
Even (8)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (9)__________ paradise
I churn (10)____________ (11)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (12)____________ me in the butt (13)________ week
I just (14)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (15)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish (16)________ a 'tude, you know that's (17)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (18)____________ in an (19)__________ paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (20)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (21)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (22)______________ times as (23)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (24)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (25)________ my brother (26)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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