Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (1)______________ she's very plain
But that's (2)________ perfect for an (3)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (4)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and (5)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (6)__________ to party (7)________ it's 1699

We've been spending (8)________ our (9)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (10)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (11)____________ me in the (12)________ last week
I (13)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (14)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he (15)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (16)________ hat
And my homies agree I (17)____________ look good in black, fool

If you (18)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (19)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (20)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (21)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (22)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (23)______________ (24)________ to be like
On my (25)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (26)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (27)__________ paradise
But you'd (28)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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