Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (1)________ and realize she's (2)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (3)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the (4)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (5)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (6)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (7)__________ in my hand and a (8)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (9)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (10)__________ paradise
I churn butter (11)________ or twice, living in an (12)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (13)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at (14)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (15)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (16)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (17)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (18)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (19)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (20)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (21)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (22)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (23)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (24)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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