Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (2)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (3)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even (4)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (5)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (6)__________ paradise
It's hard (7)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an (8)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (9)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (10)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really (11)________ good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (12)________ (13)________ the phone (14)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're (15)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (16)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (17)__________________ as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (18)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (19)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (20)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (21)______________ times as (22)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the (23)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (24)________ to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've been spending (26)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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