Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (2)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (3)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (4)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (5)__________ butter (6)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (7)__________ boy kicked me in the (8)________ (9)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (10)__________ punched a tourist even if he (11)________________ it
An (12)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (13)________ to visit, you'll be (14)__________ to tears
We haven't even (15)________ the phone (16)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (17)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (18)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just (19)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (20)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (21)________ I'll (22)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (23)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (24)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending (25)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (26)________ or traffic lights, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
Yeah

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