Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (2)________ perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (3)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (4)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (5)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (6)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (7)________ (8)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (9)__________ boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (10)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (11)________ that's (12)______________ of
I never (13)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (14)____________ agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (15)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (16)________ (17)________________ most our lives (18)____________ in an (19)__________ paradise
We're (20)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (21)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (22)______________ times as humble as (23)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (24)__________ Mennonites, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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