Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley (1)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (2)________ and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (3)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (4)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (5)__________ living in an (6)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (7)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (8)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the (9)________ last week
I just (10)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (11)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (12)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (13)____________ agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (14)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (15)________ paid the (16)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't (17)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (18)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (19)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (20)______________ (21)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night (22)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (23)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an (24)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (26)______________ lights, living in an (27)__________ paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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