Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley (1)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun fancy things (3)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (4)________ milking and (5)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (6)__________ in my hand and a (7)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (8)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an (9)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (10)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (11)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (12)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (13)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look (14)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (15)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (16)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (17)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (18)________ (19)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (21)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (22)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (23)______________ (24)__________ have to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (26)__________ it bites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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