Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I (1)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy (2)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (3)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (4)________ that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (5)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (6)______________ we're going to party (7)________ it's 1699

We've been (8)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter (9)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (10)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (11)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (12)____________ don't care, in fact I (13)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (14)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (15)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish (16)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (17)________ buttons, but I got a (18)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (19)________ (20)________ the phone (21)________ in 300 years
But we ain't (22)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (23)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (24)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all (25)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (26)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (27)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little (28)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night (29)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (30)______________ might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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