Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley (1)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (2)________ I shun (3)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (4)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the (5)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (6)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (7)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (8)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been (9)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (10)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (11)________ quilts at (12)________________ price, living in an (13)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just (14)____________ at him, and I turned the (15)__________ cheek
I (16)____________ don't care, in fact I (17)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (18)________________ most our (19)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're (20)________ plain and (21)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (22)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're (23)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (24)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (25)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night (26)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (27)________ my brother (28)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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