Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (3)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (4)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (5)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even (6)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (7)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (8)________ our (9)__________ (10)____________ in an Amish paradise
I (11)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I (12)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (13)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (14)________ hat
And my homies agree I (15)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (16)________ paid the (17)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an (18)__________ paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (19)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (21)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (22)__________ day and (23)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (24)______________ (25)__________ have to get medieval on (26)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (27)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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