Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (1)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun (2)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (3)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (4)________ milking and (5)______________ so long that
Even (6)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (7)________ spending most our (8)__________ (9)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn (10)____________ once or twice, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (12)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell (13)____________ at (14)________________ price, living in an (15)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (16)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (17)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (18)______________ a tourist (19)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (20)________ that's (21)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I (22)____________ (23)________ good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (24)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (26)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (27)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (28)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an (29)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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