Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley (1)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (2)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (3)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (4)________ and a (5)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (6)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I (7)__________ butter (8)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (9)________ work and sacrifice, (10)____________ in an (11)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (12)__________ punched a tourist (13)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (14)________ that's unheard of
I never (15)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I (16)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (18)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (19)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (20)________________ most our lives (21)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (22)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (23)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (24)__________ have to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've (26)________ spending most our lives (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (28)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (29)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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