Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (1)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (2)________ I shun fancy (3)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (4)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the (5)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (6)________ that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (7)______________ we're going to (8)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (9)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (10)______________ of
I never (11)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (12)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you (13)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (14)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (15)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (16)________ spending most our lives living in an (17)__________ paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (18)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (19)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (20)________ of butter
Raised a (21)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (22)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (23)______________ might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an (24)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (25)______________ lights, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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