Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (1)________ me
You know I shun (2)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (3)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (4)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (5)______________ we're (6)__________ to (7)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (8)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (9)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's (10)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise

A (12)__________ boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (13)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (14)________ if he (15)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (16)________ that's (17)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (18)________ hat
And my homies agree I (19)____________ look good in black, fool

If you (20)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (21)________ the (22)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't (23)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (24)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (26)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (27)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (28)________ spending most our lives (29)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (30)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

Answers: