Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ (2)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (3)________ and (4)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (5)________ I shun fancy things (6)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (7)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (8)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (9)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I (10)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (11)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (12)________ that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (13)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (14)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (15)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (16)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (17)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (18)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (19)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (20)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (21)______________ times as humble as (22)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (23)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (24)__________ paradise
But you'd probably (25)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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