Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (1)______________ she's (2)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (3)________ me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (4)__________ the (5)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (6)________ that
Even Ezekial (7)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (8)__________ in my hand and a (9)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (10)________ (11)________________ most our lives (12)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (13)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (14)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (15)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (16)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (17)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (18)____________ in an (19)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (20)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (21)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night (22)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on (23)________ hiney

We've (24)________ spending (25)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (26)__________ paradise
There's no cops or (27)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (28)________________ think it bites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
Yeah

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