Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I (1)________ a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (2)________ perfect for an Amish (3)________ me
You know I shun fancy (4)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (5)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (6)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (7)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (8)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (9)__________ paradise
I (10)__________ butter (11)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (12)________ work and sacrifice, living in an (13)__________ paradise
We (14)________ quilts at (15)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (16)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (17)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (18)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (19)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (20)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (21)________ plain and simple guys, living in an (22)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (23)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night (24)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (25)____________ in an (26)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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