Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I (2)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (3)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (4)________ milking and (5)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (6)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (7)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (8)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (9)__________ (10)______________ a tourist (11)________ if he deserved it
An (12)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (13)________ (14)________ the (15)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (16)________ our (17)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (18)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (19)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (20)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (21)____________ as thou art

I'm the (22)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (23)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (24)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending (25)________ our (26)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (27)__________ paradise
There's no (28)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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