Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (1)________ me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (2)______________ cows
Jedediah (3)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and (4)______________ so long that
Even (5)______________ (6)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (7)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (8)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (9)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an (10)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (11)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (12)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (13)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (14)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (15)__________ to tears
We haven't (16)________ paid the phone (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (18)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (19)________ spending most our (20)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (21)____________ in an (22)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (23)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (24)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (25)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (26)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (27)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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