Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ (2)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (3)________ perfect for an (4)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things (5)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (6)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (7)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (8)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (9)________ spending (10)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (11)________________ price, (12)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (13)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (14)________ I (15)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (16)__________ punched a tourist even if he (17)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (18)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the (19)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (20)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (21)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (22)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (23)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (24)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the (25)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been (26)________________ (27)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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