Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the (2)____________ (3)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (4)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At (5)________ in the mornin' I'm (6)______________ cows
Jedediah (7)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and (8)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (9)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I (10)__________ butter (11)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (12)________ and sacrifice, living in an (13)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at (14)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A (15)__________ boy kicked me in the butt (16)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (17)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (18)__________ punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really (19)________ good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (20)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (21)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (22)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (23)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (24)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (25)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (26)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the (27)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (28)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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