Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley (2)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (3)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (4)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and (5)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (6)__________ in my (7)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (8)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (9)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (10)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (11)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he (12)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (13)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (14)________ paid the (15)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (16)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no (17)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (18)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (19)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (20)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (21)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (22)__________ Mennonites, living in an (23)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (24)__________ it bites, (25)____________ in an (26)__________ paradise
Yeah

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