Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ (2)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (3)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (4)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (5)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (6)______________ and plowing so (7)________ that
Even Ezekial thinks (8)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (9)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (10)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (11)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at (12)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (13)________ smiled at him, and I turned the (14)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (15)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish (16)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (17)________ paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (18)____________ don't (19)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (20)__________________ as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (21)____________ in an (22)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (23)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (24)__________ as humble as (25)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (26)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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