Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (3)______________ and plowing so long that
Even (4)______________ thinks that my (5)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (6)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (7)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (8)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the (9)________ (10)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (11)____________ don't care, in (12)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (13)__________ (14)______________ a tourist even if he (15)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (16)________ paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (17)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (18)__________________ as can be

We've been (19)________________ most our (20)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just (21)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (22)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (23)__________ day and night scoring (24)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (25)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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