Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (1)________ and (2)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (3)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (4)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (5)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (6)________ and a (7)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (8)________ spending (9)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an (10)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just (11)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (12)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (13)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (14)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (15)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (16)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (17)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (18)____________ in an (19)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (20)________ on Monday, (21)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (22)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (23)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (24)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (25)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (26)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our (27)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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