Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ (2)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (3)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (4)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (5)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (6)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (7)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending (8)________ our lives living in an (9)__________ paradise
I (10)__________ butter once or twice, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just (12)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (13)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (14)______________ a tourist (15)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (16)________ that's (17)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (18)__________ I really look (19)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (20)________ (21)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (22)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (23)________________ Crusoe, it's as (24)__________________ as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (26)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (27)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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