Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (1)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun fancy (3)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (4)__________ the (5)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (6)______________ (7)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (8)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (9)__________ butter (10)________ or twice, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (12)____________ in an Amish paradise
We (13)________ quilts at discount price, (14)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (15)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (16)__________ (17)________ a 'tude, you know that's (18)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (19)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (20)__________________ as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (21)________ for sin and vice, (22)____________ in an (23)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (24)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the (25)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (26)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (28)____________ in an (29)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

Answers: