Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I (2)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (3)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (4)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (5)________ and a (6)__________ on my chin
But if I (7)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives (8)____________ in an Amish paradise
I (9)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (10)________ week
I (11)________ smiled at him, and I (12)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in (13)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (14)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (15)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (16)__________ to tears
We haven't (17)________ (18)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (19)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (20)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (21)________ plain and (22)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (23)____________ in an (24)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the (25)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my (26)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (27)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
Yeah

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