Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (1)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (2)________ perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (3)________ that
Even (4)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (5)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (6)________ spending (7)________ our lives living in an (8)__________ paradise
I (9)__________ butter (10)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (12)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (13)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (14)__________ I (15)____________ look good in black, fool

If you (16)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're (17)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (18)__________________ as can be

We've been (19)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (20)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (21)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (22)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little (23)______________ want to be like
On my (24)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (25)________ to get (26)________________ on your hiney

We've been (27)________________ most our lives (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (29)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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