by Jonathan Coulton
Heya Tom, it's Bob from the office down the hall
Good to see you buddy, how've you been?
Thing have been OK for me
Except that I'm a zombie now
I really wish you'd let us in
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demand
But here's an FYI
you're all gonna die screaming
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable
I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I don't want to nitpick, Tom
But is this really your plan?
To spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's OK for now
But someday you'll be out of food and guns
And then you'll have to make the call
I'm not surprised to see
You haven't thought it through enough
You never had the head for all that
Bigger picture stuff
But Tom, that's what I do
And I plan on eating you slowly
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable
I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I'd like to help you Tom
In any way I can
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me
I'm not a monster Tom
Well, technically I am
I guess I am
I've got another meeting Tom
Maybe we could wrap it up
I know we'll get to common ground somehow
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues
Who were chewing on the doors
I guess we'll table this for now
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time
I know we're all busy as hell
And we'll put this thing to bed
When I bash your head open
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable
I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
Good to see you buddy, how've you been?
Thing have been OK for me
Except that I'm a zombie now
I really wish you'd let us in
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demand
But here's an FYI
you're all gonna die screaming
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable
I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I don't want to nitpick, Tom
But is this really your plan?
To spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's OK for now
But someday you'll be out of food and guns
And then you'll have to make the call
I'm not surprised to see
You haven't thought it through enough
You never had the head for all that
Bigger picture stuff
But Tom, that's what I do
And I plan on eating you slowly
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable
I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I'd like to help you Tom
In any way I can
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me
I'm not a monster Tom
Well, technically I am
I guess I am
I've got another meeting Tom
Maybe we could wrap it up
I know we'll get to common ground somehow
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues
Who were chewing on the doors
I guess we'll table this for now
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time
I know we're all busy as hell
And we'll put this thing to bed
When I bash your head open
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable
I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains