Major-General's Song by Gilbert And Sullivan

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I am the (1)________ (2)__________ of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England
And I quote the (3)____________ historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm (4)________ well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I (5)____________________ equations, both the (6)____________ and quadratical
About binomial (7)______________ I'm teeming with a lot o' news
(Hmm, lot of news.... Got it!)
With (8)________ (9)________________ facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
...
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of (10)____________ animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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I (11)________ our mythic history
King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I (12)__________ in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted
Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus
From The Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue
Of (13)__________ I've heard the music's din afore
(Ooh, din afore, din afore... Got it!)
And whistle all the airs
From that infernal nonsense Pinafore
...
Then I can write a washing bill in (14)__________________ cuneiform
And tell you (15)__________ detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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In fact
When I know (16)________ is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle (17)________ a javelin
When such (18)______________ as sorties
And (19)__________________ I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, (20)________ I've a smattering of (21)__________________ strategy
(Oh, that's a (22)________ one, strategy... Got it!)
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee
...
For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been (23)______________ down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
...
(One more time?!)
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In fact
When I know (24)________ is (25)__________ by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm (26)________ wary at
And when I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What (27)________________ has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never rode a horse!
...
For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General!
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