Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (2)__________ plows, fool
And I've been (3)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (4)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (5)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (6)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (7)________ it's 1699

We've been (8)________________ most our lives living in an (9)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (10)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (11)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (12)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (13)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (14)__________ and stare
We're just (15)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our (16)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (17)________ for sin and vice, living in an (18)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (19)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (20)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (21)________ to be like
On my knees day and (22)__________ (23)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (24)______________ might have to get (25)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending (26)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (27)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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