Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley (2)__________ I harvest my grain
I (3)________ a (4)________ at my wife and realize she's (5)________ plain
But that's just (6)______________ for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (7)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (8)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (9)________ discipline
Got a (10)__________ in my hand and a (11)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been (12)________________ most our lives (13)____________ in an (14)__________ paradise
I (15)__________ butter (16)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (17)______________ of
I (18)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (19)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (20)____________ don't (21)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (22)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (23)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (24)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (25)__________ have to get medieval on (26)________ hiney

We've (27)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (28)____________ in an (29)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (30)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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