Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I (1)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (2)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (3)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (4)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (5)__________ in my hand and a (6)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (7)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been (8)________________ (9)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an (10)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (11)________ that's unheard of
I never (12)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I (13)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (14)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (15)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no (16)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (17)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (18)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (19)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (20)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the (21)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (22)__________ (23)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (24)________ to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (26)__________ Mennonites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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