Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (1)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I (2)________ fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (3)______________ thinks that my (4)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (5)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives (6)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter (7)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (8)________ quilts at discount price, (9)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (10)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (11)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (12)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (13)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (14)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (15)________ the (16)__________ (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (18)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (19)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (20)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (21)________ on Monday, soon I'll (22)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (23)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (24)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (25)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (26)____________ in an (27)__________ paradise
There's no (28)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (29)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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