Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a (2)________ at my (3)________ and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (4)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and (5)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (6)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (7)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to (8)__________ like it's 1699

We've been (9)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell (10)____________ at discount price, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise

A (12)__________ boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (13)____________ don't point and stare
We're (14)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (15)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (16)________________ (17)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (18)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (19)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (20)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (21)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the (22)____________ guy the little (23)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and (24)__________ (25)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (26)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an (27)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (28)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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