Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley (1)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (2)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (3)______________ thinks that my (4)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (5)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (6)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (7)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the (8)________ (9)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (10)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (11)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (12)__________ punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (13)________ that's (14)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (15)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you (16)________ to visit, you'll be (17)__________ to tears
We haven't even (18)________ the phone (19)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (20)________ our lives (21)____________ in an (22)__________ paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (23)________ on Monday, (24)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're (25)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (26)__________ Mennonites, (27)____________ in an (28)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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