Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (1)______________ she's (2)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I (3)________ (4)__________ (5)____________ like electricity

At (6)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (7)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (8)________ spending most our (9)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter (10)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (11)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (12)________ quilts at (13)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (14)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (15)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (16)________ that's (17)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (18)____________ quaint, so (19)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (20)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (21)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (22)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (23)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night (24)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (25)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (26)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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