Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (2)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (3)________ in the mornin' I'm (4)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (5)__________ to (6)__________ (7)________ it's 1699

We've been (8)________________ (9)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (10)________ work and sacrifice, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell (12)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (13)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (14)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (15)________ that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really (16)________ good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (17)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (18)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (19)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (20)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (21)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (22)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (23)______________ might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending (24)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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