Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (1)________ plain
But that's just (2)______________ for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (3)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (4)__________ to (5)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (6)__________ paradise
We (7)________ quilts at discount price, living in an (8)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (9)__________ cheek
I (10)____________ don't care, in (11)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (12)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (13)__________ punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (14)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (15)__________ wear buttons, but I got a (16)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (17)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're (18)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (19)__________________ as can be

We've (20)________ spending most our (21)__________ living in an (22)__________ paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (23)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the (24)____________ Amletts (25)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (26)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an (27)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (28)____________ in an (29)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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