Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (2)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (3)______________ and plowing so (4)________ that
Even (5)______________ thinks (6)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (7)____________ thine
Then tonight we're (8)__________ to (9)__________ like it's 1699

We've been (10)________________ most our (11)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (12)____________ in an (13)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (14)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (15)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (16)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (17)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (18)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (19)________ spending most our lives (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (21)____________ guys, living in an (22)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (23)________ of butter
Raised a (24)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (25)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the (26)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (27)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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