Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the (2)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (3)________ and realize she's very plain
But that's (4)________ perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (5)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (6)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (7)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (8)__________ like it's 1699

We've been (9)________________ (10)________ our lives (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (12)____________ in an (13)__________ paradise
We sell (14)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (15)____________ don't care, in (16)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (17)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (18)________ in black, fool

If you (19)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (20)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (21)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (22)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're (23)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (24)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (25)__________ day and (26)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending (27)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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