Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (1)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy (2)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (3)________ milking and plowing so (4)________ that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (5)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (6)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (7)________ (8)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (9)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (10)__________ (11)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (12)________ to visit, you'll be (13)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (14)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (15)__________________ as can be

We've been spending (16)________ our (17)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (18)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (19)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (20)____________ righteous? (21)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (22)______________ times as (23)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (24)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no (26)________ or (27)______________ lights, living in an (28)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
Yeah

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