Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (1)________ and (2)______________ she's very plain
But that's (3)________ (4)______________ for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and (5)______________ so long that
Even (6)______________ thinks that my (7)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (8)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (9)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn (10)____________ once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell (11)____________ at (12)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (13)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (14)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (15)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (16)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (17)__________ I really look (18)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (19)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (20)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (21)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (22)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (23)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (24)______________ (25)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending (26)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (27)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (28)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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