Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (1)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (2)________ I shun (3)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (4)__________ the (5)________________ and (6)__________ plows, fool
And I've (7)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (8)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (9)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter (10)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (11)________ work and sacrifice, (12)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish (13)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (14)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (15)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (16)__________ and simple guys, living in an (17)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (18)____________ in an (19)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (20)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (21)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (22)________ to get medieval on (23)________ hiney

We've been (24)________________ most our lives living in an (25)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (26)__________ paradise
But you'd (27)________________ think it bites, (28)____________ in an (29)__________ paradise
Yeah

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