Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (2)________ plain
But that's (3)________ perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (4)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (5)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (6)__________ in my (7)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I (8)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (9)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (10)__________ paradise
I (11)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (12)____________ in an (13)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just (14)____________ at him, and I turned the (15)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (16)__________ (17)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (18)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (19)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (20)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (21)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (22)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (23)____________ luxury
Like (24)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (25)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (26)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the (27)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (28)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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