Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley (1)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (2)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (3)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (4)________ milking and plowing so (5)________ that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (6)______________ we're going to (7)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn (8)____________ once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (9)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (10)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (11)__________ (12)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (13)__________ wear buttons, but I got a (14)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (15)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (16)____________ luxury
Like (17)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (18)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (19)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (20)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (21)______________ might have to get medieval on (22)________ hiney

We've (23)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (24)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (25)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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