Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the (2)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (3)________ electricity

At (4)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (5)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (6)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (7)________ and sacrifice, living in an (8)__________ paradise
We sell (9)____________ at discount price, (10)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (11)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (12)__________ I really (13)________ (14)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (15)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (16)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (17)__________ and (18)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (19)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (20)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (21)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (22)________ my (23)______________ (24)__________ have to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've been spending most our (26)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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