Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an (1)__________ (2)________ me
You know I shun (3)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (4)__________ plows, fool
And I've (5)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (6)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (7)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (8)__________ boy kicked me in the butt (9)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I (10)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in (11)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (12)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (13)______________ of
I (14)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (15)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (16)________ paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (17)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (18)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (19)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (20)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (21)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (22)__________ day and night (23)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (24)______________ might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our (25)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (26)________ or traffic lights, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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