Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (2)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an (3)__________ like me
You know I (4)________ fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (5)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (6)________ milking and (7)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (8)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (9)__________ boy kicked me in the (10)________ last week
I (11)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (12)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (13)______________ a tourist (14)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (15)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (16)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (17)________ (18)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (19)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an (20)__________ paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (21)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (22)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (23)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (24)________ to be like
On my knees day and night (25)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (26)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (27)____________ in an (28)__________ paradise
But you'd (29)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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