Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I (2)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (3)________ perfect for an Amish like me
You know I (4)________ (5)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (6)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (7)______________ (8)____________ that my (9)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (10)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (11)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (12)____________ in an (13)__________ paradise
It's hard (14)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (15)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just (16)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (17)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (18)____________ agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (19)________ paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (20)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (21)________________ (22)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (23)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (24)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (25)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (27)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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