Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy (1)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (2)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (3)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to (4)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (5)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (6)__________ paradise
It's (7)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (8)________ quilts at (9)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (10)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (11)__________ punched a (12)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish (13)________ a 'tude, you (14)________ that's (15)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (16)________ hat
And my (17)____________ agree I really look (18)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (19)________ the (20)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (21)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (22)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (23)__________________ as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an (24)__________ paradise
We're just plain and (25)____________ guys, living in an (26)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (27)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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