Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (2)______________ for an (3)__________ like me
You know I shun (4)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (5)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (6)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (7)__________ to party (8)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (9)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (10)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (12)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (13)______________ a (14)______________ even if he (15)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (16)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (17)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're (18)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (19)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our (20)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (21)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (22)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (23)______________ times as humble as (24)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little (25)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (26)______________ might have to get medieval on (27)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (29)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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