Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy (2)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (3)________ that
Even (4)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (5)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (6)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives (7)____________ in an (8)__________ paradise
I churn (9)____________ once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (10)__________ paradise
We sell (11)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (12)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (13)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (14)________ in black, fool

If you (15)________ to visit, you'll be (16)__________ to tears
We haven't (17)________ paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (18)__________ and simple guys, living in an (19)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (20)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (21)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (22)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (23)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (24)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (25)__________ it bites, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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