Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I (2)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (3)________ perfect for an (4)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (5)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (6)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (7)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (8)__________ boy (9)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (10)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (11)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (12)______________ a tourist (13)________ if he deserved it
An Amish (14)________ a 'tude, you (15)________ that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (16)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look (17)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (18)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the (19)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (20)____________ don't point and stare
We're (21)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our (22)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (23)__________ day and (24)__________ (25)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (26)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (27)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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