I'd Ask The Questions by The Proclaimers

How did they fit two giraffes on the Ark?
Who's the best winger to grace Hampden Park?
Who sold the razor that cut van Gogh's ear?
I'd ask the questions if you were still here
How many cars have been stolen in Stoke?
Which brand of cigarettes do beagles smoke?
How do you stand on your head and drink beer?
I'd ask the questions if you were still here
But you're not around
And I've lately found
If I look for answers the others just scoff
I've lost my bounce without you to bounce off
Who ran the 21th four-minute mile?
Who does a bad-tempered stoic revile?
What does a seeker of truth hope to hear?
I'd ask the questions if you were still here
But you're not around
And I've lately found
If I look for answers the others just scoff
I've lost my bounce without you to bounce off
How can you tell when a sloth is relaxed?
How can you sleep with your woodwork unwaxed?
When will my five o'clock shadow appear?
I'd ask the questions
I'd ask the questions
I'd ask the questions if you were still here